sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
