My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
