my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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