we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
