do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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