See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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