There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
