I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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