so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
