Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize