I'm really into asian looking animals
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
