yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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