and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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