Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
