if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
