i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I smell stomach acid.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
