Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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