I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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