Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
