worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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