btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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