Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Dick very happy bro
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
