The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i dont even know how to be here
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
