i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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