you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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