wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
