hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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