When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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