You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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