Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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