Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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