You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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