Whod you bang
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
