The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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