i jhust puked up my retainher.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
