We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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