That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
