I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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