Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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