I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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