It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
