We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
