my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
