your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
