I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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