Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
