Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
