he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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