that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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