I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
