was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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