i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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