I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The Olympian is in my bed
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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