The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
