Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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