it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Sober January is a disaster.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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