why didn't you poke me back
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
