I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
please come you make the beer taste better
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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