at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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