First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
